Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Scared to Hope

I didn’t want to be here. But I am, we are. Our second, and final, round of IVF. If it doesn’t work this time then we’ve already made the decision not to do it again; it’s too costly. The financial cost is easy to calculate and I am grateful we Read more…

Waves Of Grief

This was a hard week. It’s been a week I have been dreading for months. A week which I kept hoping and praying wouldn’t happen. A week where I learned that grief really does come in waves! This is the week that our IVF babies would have been due. It’s Read more…

Peeing On A Stick

I’ve been tracking my ovulation cycle with those sticks that you pee on. Does the line appear this time? If so we need to have sex, right now!! I think the line shows that you are likely to ovulate within the next 24-48 hours but you get the picture! Morning Read more…

What Are We Getting Into?

Although we haven’t technically been trying for a full year, we’ve been referred to the fertility clinic in town. Questions about our eating, drinking and smoking habits, medical histories, physical examinations, blood work and then booked in for various other tests and ultrasounds. We were given all the stats as Read more…

Helen, I’m Pregnant

We’ve all been there. That moment that you look on Facebook and see a cheesy announcement that someone is pregnant. Or someone drops it casually into the conversation. You want to be happy for them, of course you do, but it also hurts. Am I so selfish and callous that Read more…

More Tests

Before we started on this infertility journey my medical file was basically empty. Now I’m starting to get very used to all the different types of ultrasound out there. Sometimes you need to pee first, for others you need a full bladder (they’re the worst!), some are more intimate than Read more…

Hormones & IUI (Take 1)

After all the waiting, this was the month that we would start our fertility treatment. The doctor had recommended we start with IUI or intrauterine insemination, which is basically where they place the sperm as close to the fallopian tubes as they can, at the same time as you ovulate. Read more…

Ignoring God

Today I sat on a beautiful hill in Vancouver and meditated on Romans 8. This was painful reading. I suddenly realized that I need to stop focusing on myself and start to focus on God. I was hit hard by what I read. ‘Focusing on the self is the opposite Read more…

Hormones & IUI (Take 2)

Because it hadn’t worked last month we were able to try again right away. This at least was good news as it meant we didn’t have to “waste” another month. I knew the process, the nurses and ultra-sound technicians and the pharmacist by now. It meant more time off work Read more…