Because it hadn’t worked last month we were able to try again right away. This at least was good news as it meant we didn’t have to “waste” another month. I knew the process, the nurses and ultra-sound technicians and the pharmacist by now. It meant more time off work but I could make that up.
This cycle feels very optimistic. I am trying to pray “your will be done” but I know I’ll be distraught if it doesn’t work. The positives are that I feel very relaxed, the follicles are growing as per the text-book and the insemination is on our anniversary, which if not very romantic, feels like a good sign. A couple of days ago I read Psalm 20 and the words “May He grant you your heart’s desire and fulfil all your plans” leapt out at me. The next day I read Psalm 21 which says “You [God] have given him his heart’s desire and have not withheld the request of his lips.” Can I claim these verses for me today? As if confirmation of this I got an encouraging text from a friend telling me not to worry about anything that was on my heart. God is listening to me. God knows how much I desire children. Maybe, just maybe, this will be the time when that prayer is answered?