Helen, I’m Pregnant

We’ve all been there. That moment that you look on Facebook and see a cheesy announcement that someone is pregnant. Or someone drops it casually into the conversation. You want to be happy for them, of course you do, but it also hurts. Am I so selfish and callous that Read more…

More Tests

Before we started on this infertility journey my medical file was basically empty. Now I’m starting to get very used to all the different types of ultrasound out there. Sometimes you need to pee first, for others you need a full bladder (they’re the worst!), some are more intimate than Read more…

When Trust Fails

When my period came this month I broke down. I wept. I couldn’t pray. I didn’t trust my words. I confessed to my mentor that although I thought I was trusting God, maybe I wasn’t. She asked me to challenge that sentence. Does my doubt and disappointment mean I don’t Read more…

Hormones & IUI (Take 1)

After all the waiting, this was the month that we would start our fertility treatment. The doctor had recommended we start with IUI or intrauterine insemination, which is basically where they place the sperm as close to the fallopian tubes as they can, at the same time as you ovulate. Read more…

Ignoring God

Today I sat on a beautiful hill in Vancouver and meditated on Romans 8. This was painful reading. I suddenly realized that I need to stop focusing on myself and start to focus on God. I was hit hard by what I read. ‘Focusing on the self is the opposite Read more…

Hormones & IUI (Take 2)

Because it hadn’t worked last month we were able to try again right away. This at least was good news as it meant we didn’t have to “waste” another month. I knew the process, the nurses and ultra-sound technicians and the pharmacist by now. It meant more time off work Read more…

Hormones & IUI (Take 3)

Another month, another attempt. I really know what to expect now. And I’m much less hopeful after two failed attempts. I also have to travel for work during this cycle which makes it harder, but I can’t keep putting my life on hold. I also learned something new this cycle Read more…

Next Step – IVF

Our fertility doctor is amazing. All the staff at the clinic are. Today I had a scheduled appointment to figure out our best next steps. The good news – we’ve come to the top of the waiting list for IVF. Different people have different views on IVF. We’d prayed about Read more…

When God Says No

You may have read that we were going to find out if our IVF had been successful on Christmas Day. It wasn’t. And we did find out on Christmas Day. At 5pm to be precise. Just after we’d finished a lovely Christmas Dinner. I cried. My Mum cried. It wasn’t Read more…