I was searching for a completely different passage entirely, but when I read this psalm I knew this what was I needed to hear. Sometimes God works like that. Here are my reflections on Psalm 145. As you take time to read the words of the psalm, I hope that they are as encouraging to you as they were to me. I have found that when I start praising God, even if I don’t feel like it (or especially then), then my heart comes closer to God and a burden is lifted and I am filled with joy and gratitude.
Whatever is going on in my life right now, there are still many reasons why I can and should praise God.
God is gracious. He’s compassionate. He is rich in love. He loves me. He is good to me.
I feel hard done by. I want children and it doesn’t feel fair, or kind or compassionate that we are still struggling with infertility. As I watch others with their families I see his graciousness, his love and compassion towards them. It’s not as though I feel as though we deserve children more than they do, but don’t I deserve his favour as much as they do?
And then I remind myself, even though these struggles don’t feel compassionate or kind, I know that God is these things. Despite my hurt and my longing I can believe and trust in His character. I might not understand his thinking, but I know there must be a plan. Because He is good to all, and that includes me.
I still believe that God said we would have children. If he said that, then we will. We may just have to wait a while.
Even if he didn’t promise that we would have children, he did promise to be with me always, to satisfy my desires, to be good to me, and he will be faithful to this, even if that means that my desires change.
God’s timing is not my timing. I wish it were!
Nevertheless, he knows the beginning and the end, not just the bigger picture, but the whole picture.
The food I want right now is children, but maybe it will be something else.
One thing I now for sure, is that it will be at the proper time.
God opens his hand and satisfies the desire of every living thing. That includes me!
How does that work when not everyone gets what they want?
I don’t know, but just like God remembered Hannah and Sarah and Rachel and Rebekah, maybe in his timing, the proper time, he will remember me and open my womb.
Or maybe he will open his hand and satisfy my desires in a different but better way. I just need to wait, be patient and continue to pray.
God is righteous and loving and near to me when I call on him.
My prayers don’t go unheard.
He’s not unjust, even though sometimes it feels like that.
His love and righteousness go beyond my desire for children.
He hears my cry.
He saves me.
He fulfils my desires.
He always hears. Always. But he fulfils in his way and in his timing. And he saves: he saves from sin and he saves from despair and sorrow.
God watches over me.
I am not alone in this struggle.
He knows my hurt and my doubts and my anger.
In all of this he watches over me in love.
I have so many reasons to praise God.
My infertility shouldn’t get in the way. He is worthy of praise.
There are 10,000 reasons for me to praise him – for who he is, not for what he does or doesn’t give me.
These words are true. God is good. Please join me in praising him for what we see around us and for his love. I’m not able yet to praise him for our infertility, but I have found that I can praise him despite it. I can praise him for the opportunities I have today that I wouldn’t have if we had children. I can certainly praise him for his love and goodness. I can praise him for the beauty of creation all around me. I can praise him for his comfort and peace in my grief and sadness. God is good and my mouth will speak in praise of the Lord. I hope yours can too.
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