I basically knew that my period was starting as we sat in the parking lot and my mood matched the dark clouds and thick mist that surrounded us. The supposedly stunning scenery was hidden from us. But it didn’t look as though the weather was going to get much better any time soon so we set off. About half way there my husband pointed to the distance and asked if I could see the mountain hiding behind the cloud. I looked up and yes, there was the silhouette of a mountain. As we passed the next bend the mist had rolled away and you could make out more of the scenery. By the time we got to the viewing point, the sun was out and we had stunning views.
As I sat on a rock and watched the beautiful scenery all around me, God reminded me of my earlier reflections on Ecclesiastes and Glenn Fobert’s translation of ‘meaningless’ as ‘mist’. Mist is temporary, baffling and fleeting. You can’t grab hold of it and yet it obscures things from our sight. Maybe my disappointment, grief and unmet longing for children is like the mist – clouding my view and judgement. Despite the mist earlier we got out of the car, put on waterproofs and decided to make the most of the hike. If I get on with life as best I can, maybe then I will also see that my grief is temporary and fleeting, and at the right time, God’s time, it will be replaced by joy and wonder. Maybe with children, or maybe a contentment I can’t yet imagine. I hope so. I pray so.